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GONGOOZLER: (noun)
An lazy and inquisitive particular person that stands and gazes on the comings and goings of the boats on the canals. ~~~ English Dictionary.
“Yarns of a Legit Gongoozler”, is obtainable for discover as an eBook (Amazon Kindle), an AudioBook (mp3), or in paperback, by scrolling to the hyperlinks on the backside of this online page.
On the methodology, it is likely you’ll presumably presumably perhaps presumably also simply possess a probability to read, and be all ears to, some excerpts from the guide and expectantly persuade your self of its price.
This is a guide of short reports in accordance with the creator’s profession as general supervisor at one among the United Kingdom’s biggest inland waterways marinas, and as a narrowboat dweller for twelve advantageous years.
The British canal procedure stretches over two thousand miles, great of it passing thru among the most attention-grabbing and restful areas of nation-divulge to be notify in England and Wales. Occasional metropolis sections present a wealth of historical part relating to an industrial heritage lengthy handed into the pages of history.
Canal boating and boat ownership is a with out note growing enterprise, and inland waterways marinas are being repeatedly constructed in the middle of the procedure to accomodate the fashioned develop in steel narrowboats and GRP cruisers that now abound.
At some point soon of the route of some twelve years the creator met some improbable folks, seen some advantageous sights, and skilled a plethora of anecdotal incidents. Many are recounted on this guide.
Every of the eight reports is self-ample, however interlinked, so loyal read or listened to consecutively. They’re in accordance with non-public skills, even supposing characters possess been fictionalized and endure no relation to someone, living or ineffective.
Here’s an excerpt from one among the yarns, “The Loss of the Yorkshire Lass”, a narrative of George Bettisfield from the English county of Yorkshire, who notion he became fair precise at the whole lot and in actuality “…wer’ gud fer no longer’in…”, a minimal of in the notion of George’s gradual father, Joe, who turned out to be a gargantuan draw conclude of persona.
George, who’s never stepped on a ship of any form earlier than, refuses all assistance as he makes an try to lock up and out of the marina:
……A pragmatic hireboat cruised up on the motivate of ‘Yorkshire Lass’, spilling teenagers over the towpath. No sooner had been they ashore than the kids raced up the steep, stone steps to the pause of the lock and started ratcheting the paddles enthusiastically. Water poured thru the sluices in a mini-tidal wave that rushed down the canal, threatening to send the unsecured ‘Yorkshire Lass’ careering backwards into the hireboat.
George Bettisfield reacted by thrusting the throttle lever to its most. ‘Yorkshire Lass’, her ragged Lister engine belching fumes, began a wrestle with the sleek whereas her skipper sat inflexible and unmoving as his boat slowly gained momentum over the cutting again plod in conjunction with the recede and slid inexorably in direction of the peaceable-closed lock gates.
Chumpley Lock is somewhat straight forward to enter. Even though one among the many narrow locks on the inland waterways, and comely large ample for one boat, the canal funnels gently inwards in direction of the gates and a narrowboat has nowhere else to pass however into the chamber.
It did no longer topic that George Bettisfield never moved his tiller from the centerline; that he regarded a man in the grip of seizure, fair precise arm rigidly clamped on plump throttle. ‘Yorkshire Lass’ knew her methodology into the lock and steamed down the center of the canal straight for the unopened gates.
What would possibly possibly presumably presumably perhaps also simply possess transpired had the appealing, young hire-boaters no longer managed to begin the gates in time, is mere conjecture. Because the water in the lock dropped to the stage of the canal, the gates swung free and huge, moments earlier than the narrowboat’s bows reached them.
Had George Bettisfield closed the throttle at this point, his craft would possess floated sedately into the chamber and are obtainable in gently to relaxation against the massive, reinforced-concrete sill on the far pause, designed to withstand something that heavy-handed boaters hurl against it, together with fifteen a whole lot narrowboat.
Unfortunately, he remained frozen to the throttle address, one arm clasped around the tiller, eyes locked fixedly on the concrete sill advancing with out note in direction of him. From my vantage point above, I caught a fleeting watch of Mrs Bettisfield, peaceable tight-lipped on the foredeck, even supposing her arms had been now unfolded, her fingers clutching desperately for any firm relief, her eyes bulging bigger than fashioned; however then she became fifty toes nearer than her husband, to the impending concrete sill.
When a 15 ton narrowboat traveling at plump tempo collides with an immoveable object bask in a lock sill, two issues happen. Originally, the boat decelerates from four miles an hour to zero in a nanosecond. Secondly, the mountainous amount of inertial vitality created by its forward momentum has to pass somewhere, and is with out note transferred to any object onboard no longer securely mounted down. Such objects escape from zero to four miles an hour in a the same nanosecond, producing loud and continuous crashing, rattling and shattering noises from within the boat.
This became exactly what came about to the contents of ‘Yorkshire Lass’. In a cacophony of destruction, suitcases, pots and pans, TV, crockery, cameras and a quantity of a quantity of issues, fleet traversed the length of the cabin, forming a mountain of devastation against the front bulkhead doors. Mrs Bettisfield, herself no longer exempt from the authorized pointers of physics, slid with out note from her seat and down onto the front deckboards, legs flailing at skinny air. Any sound she would possibly possibly presumably presumably perhaps also simply possess uttered became drowned by the pandemonium within.
George Bettisfield managed to dwell in situation on the helmsman’s seat, anchored by his inflexible throttle arm. The violent collision inflamed him sufficiently to throttle motivate and ease the bellowing Lister of its load. Otherwise he sat unmoved, staring uncomplicated as even supposing nothing had been amiss, ignoring the narrate of his hapless wife, the harm down below; beetroot-confronted and unexcited, seemingly oblivious of these around him.
The kids, enthusiasm unabated by this fiasco, filled the lock and opened the pause gate, allowing ‘Yorkshire Lass’ to plod on her methodology….”
From Chapter 3: “The Loss of the Yorkshire Lass”
Working and living around boaters can present neatly off treasures for a storyteller, and for creator R J Adams, the of us of Dixie’s Marina had been no exception.
Characterize an ongoing feud between Rodney Mainwaring, a pompous, chauvinistic persona with a appealing beard that “…wiggled up and down as he talked…”, and Daphne Forbes-Jackson, the young single mum living on the “Owl and the Pussycat”, because it reaches a climax in Chapter 7 of “Yarns of a Legit Gongoozler”. Rodney, considerably inebriated, tackles Daphne for spreading rumors around the marina of his secret assignation with a girl, “…positively no longer his wife…”, one evening on the canal towpath:
……A hole clatter of footsteps on the pontoon terminated her reverie. She glanced up, panicked to seem the bearded guy observing her carefully, his manner menacing and abrupt.
“Wanted a phrase with you, Woman Muck!” he snapped, lurching across the deck in direction of her. The smell of inclined alcohol assailed her nostrils. She felt herself motivate away, involuntarily, her breath coming briefly gasps.
“Oh, plod away!” she cried, “You’re inebriated! Win off my boat. Dash away me on my own!”
“You’ve triggered me no pause of concerns,” the bearded guy tangled up, reaching out to possess interplay her arm, “It’s time any individual taught you to take care of up your mouth shut!”
Daphne dodged his wild lunge, positioned two hands in the center of his chest and pushed with all her strength, forcing him backwards onto the short jetty to which the ‘Owl and the Pussycat’ became moored. The bearded guy had obviously no longer anticipated such resistance, and the sheer vitality of Daphne’s thrust, coupled with a surfeit of alcohol, despatched him staggering backwards, totally off steadiness.
The whole frustrations of the final weeks poured out of Daphne, fueling her enrage. She followed up the offensive, as soon as extra catching him plump in the chest with both hands, whereas the bearded guy vainly tried to assemble his equilibrium. This 2d assault eradicated any probability of her opponent final comely. He staggered with out note backwards down the short jetty, legs flailing in a futile try to discover up with the remaining of his physique. The legs would possibly possibly presumably presumably perhaps also simply possess succeeded had the marina been considerably longer, however on reaching the pause they floundered wildly at fresh air earlier than disappearing, along with their owner, into 5 toes of water.
Most of the boats in the rapid home had been occupied, their homeowners the sigh of one among the final Sundays of the season to discover final preparations for cold climate. The unexpected commotion, followed by a loud splash, triggered heads to pop out of hatches and doorways all around the marina. The bearded guy’s wife, herself outlandish of the irregular noises, stepped out onto the foredeck of their boat comely in time to seem her husband’s head emerge from below the lagoon, spitting and coughing up muddy canal water.
Grins and jeers greeted the bearded guy as he broke ground and struck out for the land. He became no longer the most traditional man on the marina. Properly deciding to present the ‘Owl and the Pussycat’ a huge berth, he half swam, half walked the short distance to an empty jetty additional down the pontoon, the set with great wheezing and coughing, he hauled himself from the water, and with out a backward watch in direction of Daphne, squelched off in direction of his dangle boat and a wife whose facial capabilities became something however welcoming.
“Effectively! Won by a knock-out! Is that this the customary Sunday afternoon leisure at Dixie’s, or comely a one-off performance?”
Daphne had been focused on the bearded guy and had no longer seen James Erin stroll up the pontoon on the motivate of her. “I loyal came to come motivate the milk,” he persisted, smiling and maintaining out a bottle….
From Chapter 7: “Daphne’s Rating 22 situation”
Hear To Excerpts!
“The Day That Lennox Mannion Got His Bear in mind Wait on”
If these excerpts possess whetted your whisk for meals for additional intrigue, argument, caper and elevate-on from the inhabitants of Dixie’s Marina why no longer satiate these desires by clicking one among the hyperlinks below.
“Yarns of a Legit Gongoozler” is obtainable as a paperback. Copies will most certainly be bought from all fair precise bookstores, or remark from the Publisher (USA) or (UK).
Also obtainable from all Amazon on-line shops as a paperback (Pssst! It’s more affordable!) and from Amazon.com as a Kindle eBook.
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